pk_gojira (pk_gojira) wrote,

Story of Mold and Mildew

A couple Wednesday’s ago, I defended in the basement to look for a book. I stored some of my furniture down there after coming back from Texas. While I didn’t forget about the things I left down there, I didn’t really do a through check of them. I knew a couple of them had some water damage on the out side of the box, but even then I didn’t check on the contents. So it should come as no surprise that when I did open a box to search for the book, I found it’s contents slightly damp and growing mold. At which point, I started to check over everything I stored down there. Much of the card board boxes were had lost integrity, while the things in them varied from ok to destroyed. My rage grew, but I quickly brought everything up stairs and started to take action by cleaning the mold and drying off what was salvageable. Fortunately, nothing I really valued was lost. Still I did lose some of my larger boxes, and the box for my TV should probably be thrown away too. I was both angered and sadden by the lost, especially since I know better to keep anything down there. It’s part of what I went to graduate school for, after all. I didn’t want to originally. I’d rather have gotten a storage unit. But my dad didn’t want to pay for it, and at the time, I didn’t think I’d be here that long.

But after I calmed down a bit later in the day, I realized that the entire event was basically a metaphor for how I saw my life this year. I started off with good intentions, but after gradually, everything stalled out. I sat around for two long, and the mold grew on my soul until I slipped into a deep funk that I’ve been struggling to recover from ever since. However, I also realized that it not too late for me. I’ve lost something. I lost most of this year. But I can do something about my future. I can turn that around. And so, I did. Well, small steps anyway.

The last time I created a new plan, I posted about it first instead of acting on it. This time, I’ve done it in reverse. I’ve acted on it, and now I’m posting about it. In a way, I’ve started even before the incident even happened. I realized that overall, I’ve been more depressed than last year, and I still have anxiety about things. So I looked at specifically what I was doing last year that differs from this year, especially the later parts of the year. For one, I had a fairly regular schedule. Up at 6, work from 8 to 5, then home and in bed by 11. So I’ve returned to a similar schedule. Instead of staying up to all hours, I go to bed around midnight, and wake up around 7.  I’ve been able to stick with this schedule for two weeks now. I was also doing a lot of yoga via a program on my phone practically ever day (well, at least 4 or 5 times a week). Mostly I did it as a way to get some additional exercise in addition to biking to work everyday. But I think I underestimated the psychological results of doing it. I was able to keep it up for the most part at the beginning of the year, but I kind of tapered off this summer. I was able to start it up a few more times, but I’d usually stop after a week. A before a few weeks ago, I hadn’t done it since July. But now I’ve been doing it for 45 minutes ever other day, and I’ve definitely noted some results in my brain. I don’t seem to get as depressed or anxious about things. Like, I heard back from the second interview, and as you can guess, it was also a no. Normally I’d get super depressed about that, but after hearing the news, I did a practice, and I kind of felt better about things. Guess now I know that it’s just something I need to do, especially when I’m feeling down about things.

So I now have a new plan for my life. I know that I need to move out. This place just encourages too many bad habits in me. My previous plan was to try to get a job while living here. I might have abandoned that plan a little to early, but I wasn’t seem a lot of promising results. Realizing I needed something quick, I decided that I should try seasonal employment. It could benefit me in a number of ways. It would get me up and out of here for one, and I could rebuild my bank account too. Finally, it would be something that I could leave behind easily if need be. Meaning if one of these museum jobs paid off, I could easily drop it. And I have a couple of applications out in that regard that seem promising.

Well, my plan worked! I was able to get full time seasonal employment. The hours aren’t the greatest. It starts a little earlier than I’d like. But the pay is well. I’m not going to reveal where, in case I feel the need to complain about it later. I have some concerns about the job that I don’t feel appropriate talking about in a semi-public space. I’m not sure how much I’ll earn, but my low estimates put me at least at 1000-1500 total. The challenge will then be trying to make it last for the next part of my plan.

I’m going to try my best to save the most of that money, and use it to move out. My basic thinking is that I’ll feel really bad if I’m here for a year. But now I think I might delay until February or March. Weather is a concern, but I’m also concerned I won’t have the energy to arrange a new place to live while working this job. Plus, it’ll give me a chance to look for something before I move. Of course, if one of these museum jobs does pan out like I hope, then I’m moving asap. That is still plan A. I’m more think about this as a fallback position. Regardless, I figure 1000 should be able to support me in a new city for a month. At which point, I can seek employment elsewhere while I get established. I have my misgivings.

Maybe it’s just the positive energy I’ve imbued myself with lately, but I think things are going to change for me soon. It was around this time last year when everything kind of went downhill, so maybe my luck is about to change again.  Hopefully.
Tags: jorb, life stuff, year five
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